Wanted?

Sometimes you just need to cry. That was today for me. No, not cry, wail. I received some news today that made me very sad. My grandmother on my dad's side passed away about 2 weeks ago. Now although I had not seen her in a few years, I still send cards, and receive letters from time to time. So when finding out today, I was very sad.

Sad because my Nani had passed, and sad because I had to find out on my own. No one contacted me, I found it on the internet. For those of you that don't know, my dad and I do not have a relationship, he does not want me. I have been dealing with this for years. Last summer, I was finally able to move on. I know that my heavenly father wants me. I know that He loves me unconditionally, and would never leave me. I know that I am accepted by Him.

But today, it hurts again. Really, really bad. I want to curl up in a ball and stay there for a long time. I want to call him and shout "How could you not tell me?" "How can you not love someone that is a part of you?" "How could you break promises all my life?" While reading the obituary, something stood out..."She is survived by son....of weatherford, daughter ...of Austin....and she will be missed by 2 long time friends that she shared a birthday with." Notice anything (or anyone)missing? Apparently according to the weatherford newspaper, I do not exist.

This makes me wonder, has he completely erased me from his memory? Is that possible? And if so, how can he sleep at night? I don't know these answers, and as my friend Suzie put it, I probably won't know them this side of heaven. But I do know that I do exist, my Father created me and had a plan for me. And no deadbeat dad can take that away from me!(Thanks Tab)

I am so thankful for my wonderful, praying friends that got me through today! Thank you all sooo much!

New Venture=New Blog!

I have a new blog up and running to display my new venture. Check it out here!

Today

Today I will choose Christ.
Today I will choose joy.
Today I will choose to follow Him.
Today I will choose to call out for help.
Today I will choose to be obedient.
Today I will choose to breathe deeply.
Today I will choose to surrender. (To God)
Today I will choose to fight. (Evil)
Today I will choose to capture my thoughts.
Today I will choose to put God first.
Today I will choose to give my anger over to Him.
Today I will choose joy.

Tomorrow I will choose to start all over again! :)

What will you choose?

Help!

I need to blog today, to just get things off my chest and to ask for your prayer. My oldest son Dalton is 6, and he is the most emotional child I think I have ever met. Being that he is a boy, makes it even more difficult for me and Jason to deal with. The smallest thing sets him off, and then takes about 20 minutes or more to calm him down.

One thing is that apparently he is a perfectionist. Really? He's a boy! Their handwriting is supposed to look like scribble-right? I am starting to think, that right now we are being attacked, and it is through our children. Jason has been training to be a Life House leader (that's what our church calls small groups-we have these instead of Sunday School classes). He has been in training since January, and his first official LH meets this coming Sunday night. We have both seen God's blessings over and around us these last several months.

Now, as we all know-where God works-Satan attacks. And I think that God is allowing this to happen to see if we choose to handle it through His strength. Sounds easy right? Not so much. Please pray that Jason and I will be able to use the strengths and fruits that God has equipped us with, instead of lashing out of our flesh.

This is my sweet, sweet boy: I know it is hard to believe that I have been talking about him right?
If you have any experience/ideas in how to handle this situation, please let me know! I am really beginning to believe that the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child" is totally true, and I can use all the village I can get! :)

First Grade!

I can't believe it! My little boy is in 1st grade! He had a fabulous first day, and came home super excited! He couldn't stop talking...I have no idea where he gets that from! His teacher seems to be really sweet, and young! They all seem to be really young! He He! Maybe I am just getting older...Naaahhh

Check out my super cute boy on his first day of full day school!


Isn't he adorable!

Women of Faith

This weekend I, along with 15,000 other women, attended Women of Faith. It was AMAZING! I have wanted to go for the past 3 years, but it was always sold out by the time I remembered to order tickets. Thank goodness for the economy this year, there were plenty of tickets remaining when I remembered to check it out this year! I was able to bring some friends with me (about 13 of them!) And my mom got to come too!

We had an absolute blast! We stayed at The Fairmont Hotel, my room had some AC issues, but all in all it was pretty good. We had already decided that we are reserving rooms early next year, at The W! Woo-Hoo!

Do you ever notice how God sometimes put things in your life that He wants you to hear? Over and over...and over.LOL Jennifer, Stefanie, and I attended a small women's retreat in July, and it was about dealing with heart issues. Mainly things that you have buried really deep, that you may not necessarily want to deal with again. Well, guess what one of the things they talked about at WOF was! Marliyn Meberg talked about how we put things in boxes...shame issues, parent issues, abandonement issues, whatever....Yeah, I got boxes!

There were so many awesome speakers there, and the worship was absolutely wonderful! Steven Curtis Chapman was the final act on Friday night-talk about UHH----MAZING! He had everybody in tears, but he and his family are a true example of praising God in their storm.

PS I have pre-ordered 50 tickets for next year! August 20th and 21st are next year's dates. Let me know ASAP if you would like to reserve tickets! First come, first serve. I have 38 left right now.
Below are some pics from our super fun weekend!

Steven Curtis Chapman

Erin &Sharon

Me & Ryndi

Felicia's B-Day at El Fenix!

Ofcourse, I had to wear the hat!

Jen, Lynda, and Kelly

me and Tabitha lounging!

Gulf Shores

We went with our friends Suzie and Nathan and their girls to Gulf Shores, Alabama last week for our family summer trip. Needless to say, we had a blast! I am including the best pictures, but be warned...there are many!

The first 2 days there, it rained-not too bad the first day, but on Tues-it was a downpour! So, we drove to Pensacola and went to the Naval Air Museum there. It was really neat, and the boys had a blast! I also have a little bit more history knowledge now than before I left. LOL




We went on a dolphin cruise (which is really just a boat ride out to see some dolphins jump around). We loved it! Had tons of fun! We did this same ride 3 years ago, and it is absolutely worth every penny! Ofcourse, after we did the cruise, we could see dolphins jumping around in front of our spot on the beach! Both Jason and Suzie were making comments about how we could have saved $50! (They are a lot alike!) Whatever-we loved every bit of the experience!





I love how well the kids played together, I miss being able to say "go downstairs and play in the sand-we'll see you in a little bit"!




If you are wondering about the circling birds, this is what happens when you throw out goldfish crackers around a resting Amber on the beach! Hmmmm...Nathan thought he was funny!



And of course, we had to take the obligatory "Family Beach Pics"!






There's so much more, like the boys boogie boarding, and hermit crabs, but I will have to add those another time...this is way too many photos to expect anyone to look at in one sitting!