Transparency

Transparency...What is that exactly? The dictionary definition is this: The quality or state of being transparent, like glass. But what does transparent mean? One definition says honest and open, not secretive. I really like this definition.

About 10 years ago, God made it clear to me that I needed to be more transparent. I had been very attacked by the lies from Satan that what I saw on the outside of other women was exactly how they were. Through lots of quiet time and growth with God, He revealed to me that they were very much like me. Dealing with lots of laundry and dishes, dirty houses, cranky toddlers, and sibling fights. Marriage issues, friend issues, emotional issues etc. Since then, while I have tried to maintain that transparency, it is still very difficult to do so without looking like I am whining and have an awful life. Trying to find that balance with social media is very hard. Being positive and uplifting while being transparent.

My point to you is this, while you may not see on social media what people deal with behind the scenes, this does not mean that they don't have daily struggles. Our family has been blessed beyond belief in so many ways. But what you may not always see is the struggles we go through. Those closest to us may know what we have struggled with and what we have been through. We have an amazing life. Notice I said amazing not "easy". Nothing worth having in life comes easy. You have to work at it. There will be
struggles and roadblocks, heck sometimes boulders and mountains along the way! Those struggles, pitfalls, and stormy paths make us who we are. They define who we are and where we have come from.

Who I am, I am a woman of God. I am a daughter of a King. I am a mom, a wife, and a friend. I am a prayer warrior. I will and have stormed the gates of Hell for anyone in need of prayer and strength. I will and have stood in the gap for friends and family members that were unable to do so for themselves in their time of need. I have had friends stand in the gap for me when I was unable to do so for myself. This is how it works.  This is our real life. These are our choices.

I am also a successful business woman. I am an entrepreneur who has worked very hard to get where I am. I have dealt with loss of friendships and relationships and I am still standing. I see the bigger picture. I know what is at stake for my family. I know that because of my choices there are several other families getting to experience a better life. This keeps me going. Yes my family still struggles with day to day issues. My husband and I have our moments. Our kids are NOT perfect. Life is hard. Success doesn't make it easier. The desire to be better does. The desire to stand in the gap for God's plan for us does. What is His plan for you? Who needs you to stand in the gap for them right now?

Please Pray

I am so confused. I am listening and obeying God. And most importantly, I am being still (or silent). But, now that I am where I feel God truly wants us, I really, really miss my home. And when I say home, I mean our church. My church, where things were comfortable, where I was totally fine and content. My church, where life started over for me...My church where my husband and I were not only married, but recommitted our lives over to Christ when we realized how without Him we really were! My church, where my boys have gone all their life. My church where all my friends are, friends that have been there for me, friends that have helped me, guided and taught me to be a better wife, mother, daughter of Christ, and friend to others. And while I write this, God keeps whispering "Not your church, but My Church". Ouch!

I only write this today, to ask you to pray for me. Pray that I am not selfish. Pray that I continue to listen and obey God, and not my flesh. Pray that God will change my flesh. Because right now, I just want to go home!

Pray for all those that their lives have been touched at the new church we are attending. Their are a bunch of people there that have never even been introduced to Christ before, so this church is truly God led. And while I love The Exchange, and I know this is where God wants us, I am having a really hard time today. Did I mention that I am writing this through a flood of tears?

Speaking of floods, God has been flooding us with things on marriage. You know how God gives you what you need when you need it? Well, that is definitely the case. Funny how we can hear God, agree, and even commit to obey, and then mess up royally! That is what I seem to keep doing. Good intentions all the way, but then when it comes time to actually use what I have learned...All out the window....AAAAGGGGHHH!

So please, continue to keep us in your prayers as we take on stripping our selfish desires, and deny our flesh daily. I have just started realizing what that means by the way!