Sunday, May 4, 2008

Boys, Boys, Everywhere!

Ok, so I am all about email, myspace savvy, and I consider myself to be able to "surf" the internet pretty well; but I have yet to start a blog-so here goes...

I am a mom of 2 beautiful boys! I am married to an awesome man! I have an Awesome and Amazing God! But yet, everyone knows that I desperately want girls! I am a girly, girl...I am a hairdresser, I am fru-fru from head to toe! God has truly been working on me lately, on who is really in control of my life. Guess what? It is not me! Nothing I have is mine. Nothing I "own" is mine. It all belongs to Him. My house, my cars, my children (this one was hard). God gives us everything to put Him in control and in charge. Sometimes I think I am letting Him be in the lead, but then I really take over. After this past week, He has really worked on my patience and trust in Him, and Him alone. Ok, so that alone part is really, really hard for me.
All of my life I have been super afraid of being alone. I have been afraid of being abandoned by my family, afraid of not having friends, afraid of something happing to my husband and my children. Constantly afraid, and so sure that I was not worth anything, or that I deserved to have anyone care about me. But someone does care about me! My heavenly Father! He cares about me so much that He sent His only Son to die for my sins, so that I could one day be with Him again in Heaven! WOW! How cool is that?
And do you know, that I tend to forget that! What do I do when I am scared or in trouble? I cling to my earthly friends, I run to my earthly posessions. And this week I have really learned that only through God and through having a deep personal relationship with Him can I be truly happy. And I am truly happy. I am so happy that I have two wonderful boys that keep me on my toes! I am so happy that I have a husband who I know would truly lay down his life for me. I am so happy that God has forgiven me for the dumb things I have done in the past, and for the mistakes I will continue to make. Afterall, I am a Christian-which does not make me perfect, but a sinner! A sinner who is training everyday to not make the same mistakes in the future. I am so happy that I have amazing and ecouraging friends that support me and point me in the right direction when I am completely turned around! I am also happy that God has put some wonderful, precious girls in my life. And I have realized that by me constantly saying that I was meant to have girls, or that I should have had girls, is like saying that God, who is Almighty, made a mistake! WOW! For this, I have realized that I was wrong! I am truly happy for all God has given us, and blessed us with, for what he has taken away, and for the fact that He knows what I can handle with His help!
I have done alot of growing lately, and a lot of battling too! (I think the 2 sometimes go hand in hand.) But, if we call on the name of The Lord, He will bring us through it.

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