So, if you remember from Saturday's post, I was in need of a good cry, which I had not been able to allow myself to take. Well, I got my good cry yesterday! In the middle of church! Yesterday was very moving at The Exchange, as Joel taught on Mark 4: 1-20. This was on the first time Jesus spoke in parables. This particular parable was on the sower and the seeds. Well, Jesus was relating the seeds to The Word and how they work on different types of hearts.
I am paraphrasing here, so bear with me:
*the seeds that were scattered on the wayside, represents The Word used on people with hard/calloused hearts. The birds that come and swoop up the seeds, represents Satan who comes and steals away The Word immediately after they have heard it.
*the seeds that were scattered on stony ground represents The Word used on those with superficial hearts. It shows where they have heard The Word, and received it with gladness, but because they have no root (Jesus)whenever trials and persecution occur, they soon back away from The Truth.
*the seeds that were scattered among the thorns, represent The Word used on those with faithless hearts. It shows that these type of people allow the cares of the world, and the false promises of money, and other lusts to choke out The Word in their lives and therefore have no fruits.
*the seeds that were scattered on good ground, represents people with a soft heart. People that have heard The Word, and were ready to accept and receive it. They then are able to show producing fruits in their life. This shows a "life change", which is what happens when you know and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Why did I just type all of that you ask? Honestly, I don't know-it came from God. I sat down with full intention to write only this next part, and I felt God leading me to write about the actual teaching on Sunday. So, there you go.
Now, after this wonderful teaching was The Lord's Supper. Now for me, this is a huge deal. This is something that the symbolism really puts things into perspective for me. The actual drinking of the "blood", and the breaking of the bread "body" brings me full circle to where I can not turn away from visually seeing what Jesus went through for me. And if you can't get this visual, I recommend renting the movie The Passion of The Christ. No matter what you have heard about this movie, or other reasons as to not see it, I highly recommend it to put life as a Christ follower into perspective.
Something that I have missed for several years now is going to the front of the church and actually kneeling down to take communion. This was an option this weekend, for those that wanted to. So, Jason and I follow our line and get our juice and cracker/bread, and then we kneel and he prays over it and us, and then we partake.
And what happened next, was beyond my control. After I took of His body, and of His blood in remembrance of Him and what He did for me, I gave thanks to Him. As I was thanking Him, the tears just came, and I do not mean a few rolling drops down my cheeks, I mean a flood of tears. A flood so uncontrollable that I am sure the people behind us thought I was seizing or something. (And no I am not kidding!) Yesterday's tears and uncontrollable sobbing and deep breathing, probably goes beyond any "ugly cry" I have ever had.
And as I was having this "moment", my husband continued to pray over me, over us, and also thanks for all we have in our reach. Specifically my thanks of what is in my reach is everlasting life through Jesus. Now I know that I have incredibly long arms, but everyone has Jesus within their reach. Even those of you lucky people that do not look like something out of the amazon or maybe "Olive Oil" (Popeye reference)
I was asking myself, when am I going to stop being so emotional when I visualize all that Jesus has done for me. And then, I told myself "Never Amber, Never!" And that is so true, I never want to partake in the Lord's Supper, or sing a worship song that reminds me of Jesus' cleansing blood, and his enduring pain-and just sit there like a bump on a log! I want to openly worship my king and his son with my arms wide open, with tears streaming down my face, showing God's glory and my gratefulness for all that He has given me.
In closing, I just openly want to thank Jesus, for enduring beatings, torture, ridicule, for dying on the cross, for shedding his blood for my sins. I openly want to thank God The Father, for giving His only son so that we may be with Him in Heaven instead of burning for eternity in Hell. Oh, and by the way I have pretty much not stopped crying since yesterday!
Wow! There is so much power in the blood!